Bunny Cookies
by fantasticality
Summary: Shane loses something very important to him, and he thinks Caitlyn is the cause. Shaitlyn-crack. Response to pyrolyn-776's lyric challenge.


**_I own nothing._**

**Man, it's been a while since I've written anything! I'm trying a new way of writing with this, and it was really confusing. Man, I don't like writing in present-tense. Anyways, this is a response to pyrolyn-776's lyric challenge. She had tagged me, so I'm responding. To keep it going, I'm tagging:**

**1. D R O W N-I N-S E Q U I N S (who had anticipated and responded to my tag.)  
****2. sh-sh-sugarbaby (HI, SHAYNIE! *waves*)  
****3. LittleRedOne (Hope you like it, by the way.)**

**Hope this story's okay! (I seriously can't seem to stay away from the crack...)**

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21. "I feel as empty as a drum."_

Empty.

That's how I feel.

Of course, who wouldn't after everything you love is gone. You finally obtain it, and it's gone a mere few minutes later. What kind of cruel trick is it?!

I open the cabinet door again, just checking to see if this isn't all a nightmare. It isn't. Nooo! They really were gone! I think about it for a minute, wondering where they could've gone. And suddenly, it strikes me.

Caitlyn.

Glaring murderously at my wife on our couch, I approach her, my expression completely livid. How could she?! She totally stole— she ruined me! She fucking ruined me! How cruel can a woman be?! As I get closer to her, my mouth curves downward into a deep frown.

Caitlyn's completely oblivious to my scowl, too engrossed in her book to notice me.

My weak legs stagger towards her, finally giving out once I reach the couch where she's sitting. My hands, trembling, hit the floor, clenched in fists. "Caitlyn," I grind out, eyebrows furrowed together and twitching slightly, "how could you?"

Her gray eyes flit lazily towards me. "How could I what, Shane? I've done a whole lot of things to you. You're going to have to be more specific," she drawls, flipping a page of her book idly.

Oh, yeah, play it innocent, Cait. We all know what you did! (And just what the hell is she reading, anyways? _Tales From a Thornbush. _What, did she want to read about bunnies or something?) You don't have to pretend, sweetheart. I know what you did, and I'm going to make you pay!

Caitlyn's eyes stare at me curiously. One look at her said my thoughts weren't the only thing that was ranting. "Shane, sweetie, do we need to look into those other homes again?" Caitlyn says, cautious.

I panic, my eyes going back and forth between her and the fluffy bunny poster on the ceiling. My breathing goes erratic, and I begin to hyperventilate. "Other home? What"—I laugh nervously—"other home?! I don't need another home!" I cry, curling up into a ball on the floor. I rock back and forth. I seriously didn't need another trip to the other house. I feel a shiver coursing through my spine. So… many… straitjackets… God, I never want to see stark white walls again.

"Shane. Shut up."

I immediately gather myself, standing up straight. "Yes, ma'am," I reply, saluting her.

Caitlyn snorts. Damn, I never noticed how she sounds like a pig when she does that…

In all the commotion, I forgot what I confronted Caitlyn for. I remember my mission once more, and my scowl reappears, and the glare returns. "Caitlyn, why did you do this to me?"

My wife looks up at me, her gaze kind of annoyed. She asked me what the hell I was talking about. _Well. _If she was annoyed, she doesn't have to be snippy about it.

I slam down to the floor again, my knees landing with a thud. "Caity, why?!" I cry. Oh, God, I think I'm starting to sob. Damn. "Why did you do it to me?! You know what they meant to me!"

"What meant what to you? Your balls? 'cause when I met you, they were long gone, hun."

"Dammit, Caitlyn, what have I done to make you do this to me? You're never that cruel! You've made me feel so empty!"

"What the hell did I do?!"

I let out another racking sob before shouting, "You ate my precious bunny cookies, Caitlyn!"

"Jason ate the bunny cookies."

"Oh."

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**Hope it was okay, Ada! Once again, I'm tagging:**

**1. D R O W N-I N-S E Q U I N S  
2. sh-sh-sugarbaby  
3. LittleRedOne **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


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